Chapter 44: Lucky to Escape from Death
[บางคำ อาจจะต้องตัด -d, -ed, -s, -es ออกเสียก่อน
In this situation, Li XunHuan had to open his eyes. When he did so, he was in for a huge shock.
This woman wasn't old, probably around twenty-five to twenty-six. Nor was she bad looking. Actually, if one could split her into three parts, you'd have three beautiful women.
The only problem was that she also had three chins. Cradled in her bosom, Li XunHuan felt like sleeping on a pile of cotton.
The closet's dark and stuffy. Anyone else in this situation might go crazy from all the tension. The people who came are obviously up to no good, or they wouldn't have pushed LingLing around.
But Li XunHuan only felt serenity.
He smiled in his heart.
He remembered that day he first came here, when LingLing told him that he was a bandit. This girl might not have learned much else, but her lying skills are already on par with Lin XianEr.
Yet these two people didn't even take notice of her. They simply walked around the two outside rooms, as if searching for something. Then they came into the room he's in.
LingLing quickly blocked their way, and yelled, "This is my lady's personal room. How can you barge in here like this?"
A person said, "But we're here to meet your lady."
This voice was very gentle, pleasing to the ears, and contained a smile.
It's a voice of a woman!
Li XunHuan was certainly shocked.
Only to hear LingLing say, "If so, do you actually know her?"
That woman said, "Of course? we're actually good friends."
LingLing said, "If that's so, then why didn't you tell me earlier. I thought you were bandits."
That woman chuckled, and said, "Do we really look like we're bandits?"
LingLing said, "I don't know about you two, but bandits these days are different from the past. Some of them are even more mannerly and more dashing then you two. No one can tell who they are from appearance now."
Before that woman could respond, another voice said, "Where's your lady? Can you ask her to come out?"
This voice was low, and a little coarse, but also pleasing to the ears. Li XunHuan thought this voice seemed familiar, but couldn't remember at this moment.
LingLing said, "I'm terribly sorry, but my lady left here a few days ago, leaving just me to look after the house. I'll be happy to take a message."
That woman said, "When will she come back?"
LingLing said, "I don't know? If she doesn't tell me, I do not dare ask."
The other woman suddenly let out a snicker, and said, "How convenient. She's here everyday except for the day we come. Is she hiding from us?"
These words proved that they're here to cause trouble.
LingLing still smiled, and said, "If you two are my lady's friends, then she would love to see you again. Why would she hide?"
That woman said with a smile, "Some people would see anyone, except her friends. Don't you think this odd?"
The other woman said coldly, "Maybe it's because she did too many terrible things to her friends.
LingLing said with a smile, "You two really say some strange things. This is a pretty small place. Even if she wants to hide, there really is no place."
That woman said, "Really? Although I'm not familiar with this house, I just might be able to find secret room to hide in."
LingLing said, "Well, maybe if you can hide that closet over there."
She laughed, and added, "But if someone really did hide in this closet, she'd likely suffocate to death."
That woman also laughed, and said, "You're right. Your lady is very mindful of her comfort. She'd never be able to stand staying in that closet..."
Both woman laughed, and very slyly at that.
After a long time, that woman added, "If your lady's not in this closet, then who is in there right now?"
LingLing said, "What? There's someone in the closet? How come even I don't know about it?"
That woman said, "If there's no one in the closet, then why are you blocking it? Are you afraid that I might see your lady's dresses?"
LingLing said, "What are you talking about? I'm not blocking anything?"
That woman said, "Little sister, you really do know how to talk, but you're simply too young. You're still not old enough to fool old foxes like us."
A person hiding inside someone else's closet is nothing to be proud of. He really doesn't know how these two ladies would react upon seeing him.
He also doesn't know who they are.
The first woman's voice is soft and gentle, but her words pierce like needles. Needless to say, she's very difficult to deal with.
The other woman might not talk much, but she seemed to be looking for trouble with her few words. She likely has some resentment against Lin XianEr.
Both of their martial arts are at least on par with Lin XianEr's.
Only to hear LingLing let out a gasp, the closet door opened.
Li XunHuan closed his eyes, and hoped that the two ladies would not recognize him.
That woman also could not believe that there's a man in the closet, and froze.
After a while, she said with a smile, "Little sister, who is this person? Is he asleep?"
LingLing said, "He'? he's my cousin."
That woman laughed, and said, "Oh, how delightful! You know, when I was young, I also hid a lot of lovers in my closet. One time someone found out, and I said he was my cousin too."
That woman added, "This little girl really is something. Even we aren't as skillful as she is."
The other woman remained silent for a long time, and then said, "Since Lin XianEr's not here, why don't we leave."
That woman said, "What's the hurry? Since we're already here, why don't we stay for a while?"
When the closet door opened, Li XunHuan smelled an attractive fragrance. Now that smell's even thicker, meaning that woman must be very close to him.
After a while, that woman said, "Little sister. You might be young, but you certainly have great vision when it comes to choosing men."
LingLing said, "There aren't many men here, and my lady took all the good ones. So I had to settle for him."
That woman said, "You mean you're not satisfied with him? Look at him, he's neither skinny nor fat, his face looks pretty nice, and he seems quite experienced when it comes to women."
LingLing said, "He's fairly ok in other regards, but his flaw is that he sleeps too much."
That woman said with a smile, "Maybe it's because he's too tired? After all, how could he not be after meeting a little devil like you?"
LingLing said, "He's also a bit too old."
That woman said, "You're right. He is a little old for you, but perfect for me."
She then added, "If you don't like him, little sister, you can give him to me. I promise I'll get you a younger man in a couple of days."
This woman seemed quite mannerly before, but changed dramatically after seeing him. Even as she spoke, she picked up Li XunHuan.
In this situation, Li XunHuan has to open his eyes.
When he did so, he was in for a huge shock.
This woman isn't old, probably around twenty-five to twenty-six. Nor is she bad looking. Actually, if one would split her into three parts, you'd have three beautiful women.
The only problem is that she also has three chins. Cradled in her bosom, Li XunHuan felt like sleeping on a pile of cotton.
He could hardly believe that the woman with such a charming laughter and a sweet voice would be so obese.
But even more shocking was the identity of the other woman.
This woman is also beautiful. Her waist is very thin, wearing a fitting blue robe. Her sleeves are very big. Even while simply standing, she had a goddess-like aura.
She is none other than the person Li XunHuan broke the wrist of, Blue Scorpion!
But what's odd is that Blue Scorpion doesn't seem to recognize him. Her face looked very calm. She didn't even look at him much.
That fat woman kept on laughing, each laugh shook Li XunHuan like an earthquake.
LingLing began to fluster, said, "This person's very dirty. He usually goes months between baths. You really shouldn't touch him, or you might get fleas.
That fat woman said, "Dirty? Surely not. Besides, it doesn't matter even if he has fleas. It only makes him seem more manly."
LingLing said, "But? in addition, he's even a drunkard."
That fat woman said, "That's even better. A man's not true man unless he can drink."
She winked at Li XunHuan, and whispered to him, "You'll soon know just how great I can be."
LingLing began to laugh again, and laughing extremely hard.
That fat woman widened her eyes and asked, "What are you laughing about?"
LingLing said, "I'm just laughing at your stupidity. I can't believe you'd dare to touch him."
That fat woman said, "What's so special about him?"
LingLing said, "Do you know who he is?"
That fat woman said, "Do you know who I am?"
LingLing said, "Surely you're not his cousin."
That fat woman said, "Have you heard the name Happy Lady Buddha? I'm her disciple Zhi ZunBao. I specialize in eating men."
LingLing said, "If you dare to eat him, he just might get stuck in your throat, and you can't even cough him back out."
Zhi ZunBao said, "But I never cough out bones when I eat men."
LingLing blinked her eyes, and said, "Do you really not want to know who he is?"
Zhi ZunBao said, "If I wanted to, I'd simply ask him. You don't have to worry about this. Besides? as long as he's a man, I'd be satisfied."
She turned around towards Blue Scorpion and smiled, said, "Help me out here and get rid of this girl. This is a nice place, and I want to borrow it for a while. Don't peek."
Li XunHuan lost all senses in his body. He wanted to throw up, but couldn't. He wanted to die, but couldn't. His last hope is for Blue Scorpion to seek her revenge right now, and give him a quick death."
Yet how could Blue Scorpion act as if she's never seen him? She just stood there, not even giving him a peek. But at this moment, she suddenly said, "I want this man too."
Zhi ZunBao's face sunk, and asked loudly, "What? What did you say?"
Blue Scorpion kept her solemn expression, and said, "I said I want this man too!"
Zhi ZunBao stared at her with eyes filled with murderous rage. She said loudly, "You dare to take him away from me?"
Blue Scorpion said, "Yes."
Zhi ZunBao's face turned green, and then pale. She then smiled, and said, "If you really do want him, then we can certainly discuss this."
Blue Scorpion said, "I don't want his body, I want his life!"
Zhi ZunBao said with a smile, "Then this is much easier to discuss. Once I have his body, then you can take his life."
Blue Scorpion said, "After I take his life, then you can have his body."
Although she's angry, Zhi ZunBao forced a smile and said, "I do like men a lot, but not dead men."
Blue Scorpion said, "But he seemingly doesn't seem to be much different from a dead person right now."
Zhi ZunBao said, "The reason he can't move is because someone sealed his pressure points. I obviously have a way to make him move again."
Blue Scorpion said, "Once he can move, then I'll no longer be able to take his life."
LingLing said with a smile, "That's true. Once he can move, all he needs to do is move his hand, and you'll both be dead!"
Zhi ZunBao asked, "Who is he?"
LingLing said, "He's 'Little Li's Flying Dagger'."
Zhi ZunBao froze. She shook her head and said, "I don't believe you. If he really is Li XunHuan, then why would he love you?"
LingLing said, "He doesn't. It's me who love him. That's why I want you to kill him."
Zhi ZunBao asked, "Why?'
LingLing said, "My lady told me, if I ever fall in love with someone, and he doesn't love me back, then it's better for me that he die, rather than to be with another woman."
Zhi ZunBao sighed, and said, "I can't believe you're even more venomous then I am."
LingLing said, "So do you still want his body? You still dare to?"
Zhi ZunBao did not waver, and said, "If I could have a one night stand with a man like Li XunHuan, I would die happily."
She then turned to Blue Scorpion and added, "Don't worry, I guarantee that you can take still take his life even after I get his body."
Blue Scorpion did not respond.
Zhi ZunBao said, "Don't forget. I originally came here so I could help you out. You really should give me some face."
Blue Scorpion paused a moment before saying, "Will you still be interested in a man with a hand chopped off?"
Zhi ZunBao said, "A missing hand is nothing, as long as certain others parts are still there."
Blue Scorpion said, "Then I want one of his hands!"
Zhi ZunBao thought for a while and said, "Which hand?"
Blue Scorpion said, "He broke my right hand, so I want his right one."
Zhi ZunBao sighed, and said, "Fine then. Go ahead. Just don't make a big mess."
Blue Scorpion said, "Good enough."
She slowly walked towards them, her eyes shined.
LingLing yelled, "You really aren't afraid of him?"
Zhi ZunBao said tenderly, "Little sister, do you not want him to suffer?"
She did not finish her words.
A blue streak of light shot out from Blue Scorpion's sleeve, aimed towards Li XunHuan's right wrist.
Only to hear a loud scream, which then stopped.
Li XunHuan's body dropped to the ground with a loud thud.
No one could've thought that the scream came from Zhi ZunBao.
During her scream, she dropped Li XunHuan, and turned to attack Blue Scorpion.
Blue Scorpion twisted her waist and moved out of the way.
Yet despite a waist thicker than a water tub, Zhi ZunBao had amazing flexibility. She quickly changed directions and caught Blue Scorpion's hand.
Blue Scorpion's face turned pure white.
Zhi ZunBao's face turned green, her expression as ugly as can be. She said while biting her teeth, "You? you have the nerve to attack me? I will kill you!"
With a loud cracking sound, she pulled off Blue Scorpion's hand along with her sleeve.
Blue Scorpion retreated a few more steps, and oddly showed no expression of pain.
Zhi ZunBao tore off her right hand.
Blue Scorpion began to laugh. She said, "Want to see what you're holding in your hand?"
Zhi ZunBao picked up the hand, and saw a small scorpion tail on the wrist of the hand, hidden behind those huge sleeves.
Blue Scorpion said, "No one can walk more than seven steps after being poisoned by my scorpion tail. You are much bigger than most people, so the poison would not spread so quickly in you. But I seriously doubt you can walk more than three steps.
Zhi ZunBao screamed, and tried to attack her.
After three steps, she really did fell to the floor.
Blue Scorpion didn't even look at her, instead turned toward Li XunHuan. She looked at him with a blank face for a while, then said, "Yi Ku died because he went to see Lin XianEr. I originally came here to settle up with her. This has nothing to do with you."
LingLing cut in, "If you want him to speak, why don't you unseal his pressure points?"
Blue Scorpion ignored her and continued, "Although you made my right hand useless, at least you spared my life. I always return my favors. That's why I can't stand to watch you get mutilated by that pig."
Li XunHuan sighed in his heart. He never knew Blue Scorpion was this type of a person.
Blue Scorpion said coldly, "Now that I've repaid your favor, it's time for me to collect what's rightfully mine. I don't think it would be excessive for me to ask for your right hand, right?"
Li XunHuan suddenly smiled, and slowly raised his right hand.
Blue Scorpion froze, so did LingLing.
Li XunHuan's arm could move, but his Little Li's Flying Dagger did not appear!
Watching this hand, how could Blue Scorpion speak?
Li XunHuan smiled bitterly and said, "I was attempting to unseal my pressure points through inner power. Unfortunately my ability's not good enough to pass the last hurdle. Who'd have thought that drop to the ground helped me break through, allowing me to move again."
LingLing said, "Then why are you so obedient? Why did you hold out your hand when she asked for it? You could've given her the dagger."
Li XunHuan's face sunk, ignored her, and said to Blue Scorpion, "Miss Blue, your request is indeed not excessive. Go ahead."
Blue Scorpion thought for a long time, and then sighed. She said, "There is actually someone like this in the world?"
She repeated this sentence again. Then she quickly turned around, and began to walk out the door.
But just at this moment, Li XunHuan somehow jumped out, blocked her path, and said, "Please wait a moment."