Chapter 53: Deceit
[บางคำ อาจจะต้องตัด -d, -ed, -s, -es ออกเสียก่อน
Long Xiao4Yun's expression was darker than the sky.
He lifted the wine cup, then put it down. Lifted it up again, and then put it down...
It was not that he couldn't drink wine. Rather, he didn't want to drink the wine. Because he found that when a person drank, he became more impulsive. Even the calmest person, when he became impulsive, would make decisions based on feelings.
After a long time, Long Xiao4Yun finally said, "I should not have said these words today."
Long Xiao4Yun forced a chuckle, and said, "A person might have a wrong name, but never a wrong nickname. A person might be dumb as an ox, but have a name called 'bright'. But if a person's nickname is 'crazy', then he must be crazy."
Li XunHuan originally didn't want to say anything. But he couldn't help but comment, "But if someone is too intelligent, knows too much, then he might also slowly turn into a lunatic."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Really?"
Li XunHuan said, "Because by that time, he might find that life is better as a lunatic. So for some people, their biggest agony is that they want to be crazy, but can't."
Long Xiao4Yun smiled. He said, "Thankfully, I'm not that smart. So I'll never have this sort of agony."
Of course he'll never have this type of agony. He'd never agonize over anything.
Because he'd give his agony to others.
Li XunHuan thought for a long time. Then he lowered his head, sipping the wine slowly.
Long Xiao4Yun watched, waiting.
He knew that when Li XunHuan drank slowly, he must have something important to say.
After a long time, Li XunHuan raised his head again, and said, "Big brother..."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Yes?"
Li XunHuan said, "There's something in my heart, that I want to say. But I don't know if I should say it."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Go ahead."
Li XunHuan said, "No matter what, we've been friends for many years."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Not friends, sworn brothers."
Li XunHuan said, "I'm sure you know what type of a person I am."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Yes..."
Although he only said a single word, Long Xiao4Yun said it very slowly. The word also carried a hint of shame.
He is, after all, still a person.
Any person would at least have some humanity in him.
Li XunHuan said, "Therefore, if you wanted me to do something, you should simply tell me. If its something I can do, I'll certainly do it."
Long Xiao4Yun slowly raised his wine cup, as if wishing to block his own face.
Li XunHuan has done way too much for him.
After a long time, he let out a deep sigh, and said, "I know what you mean. But... time can change many things."
Li XunHuan's face looked more and more gloomy. He said, "I know there's some misunderstanding between us..."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Misunderstanding?"
Li XunHuan said, "Right, misunderstanding. But on some matters, big brother, you should not have misunderstood me."
Long Xiao4Yun's face turned incredibly pale. After a long time, he finally said, "But on one single matter, there's absolutely no misunderstanding involved."
Li XunHuan asked, "Which matter?"
Right after he spoke, Li XunHuan already regretted these words.
He should already know the answer. Even worse, Long Xiao3Yun seemed to know that his father's about to speak something important. He quietly left.
Long Xiao4Yun stayed silent for a long time, before he said, "I know you've been in agony these past years."
Li XunHuan said, "Most people lives in agony."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "But your agony is worse than most people's."
Li XunHuan said, "Huh?"
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Because you gave away the woman you love the most. To another man, to be his wife."
Some wine spilled out, because Li XunHuan's hands were shaking.
Long Xiao4Yun said, "But your agony isn't deep enough. Because when someone felt that he has sacrificed himself for another, he would feel very bighearted. This will lessen his agony."
These words are very sharp, but also sort of reasonable.
Of course, this doesn't apply to every situation.
Long Xiao4Yun's hands are also shaking. He said, "Perhaps, you still don't know the real meaning of agony."
Li XunHuan said, "Perhaps..."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "When a man finds out that his wife was given to him by someone else, and his wife still loves that person... That is the most painful agony in the world!"
This is true.
Not only is this great agony, but it's also great humiliation.
Normally, men would rather die than say something like this. Because it's too painful to say such a thing!
No one would want to hurt himself, humiliate himself, this badly.
Yet Long Xiao4Yun just said it. He said it to Li XunHuan.
Li XunHuan's heart sunk.
He realized two things from these words. First: Long Xiao4Yun is also in a great deal of agony. That's why he changed, changed so dramatically. Put someone else in his shoes, and that person would probably also change.
Li XunHuan suddenly felt pity for Long Xiao4Yun.
Second: Since Long Xiao4Yun said these to him, he's not likely going to live long!
Li XunHuan had never cared much about life and death.
But can he afford to die now?
They did not speak much.
But each word had come out slowly, after much thinking, much pause.
It's a cloudy day. It's getting late.
So although it's not night yet, the sky is already very dark.
Long Xiao4Yun's expression is darker than the sky.
He lifted the wine cup, then up it down. Lifted it up again, and then put it down...
It's not that he can't drink wine. Rather, he doesn't want to drink the wine. Because he found that when a person drinks, he becomes more impulsive. Even the calmest person, when he becomes impulsive, would make decisions based on feelings.
After a long time, Long Xiao4Yun finally said, "I should not have said these words today."
Li XunHuan said with a smile, "Everyone has said things they did not want to say. It's part of being human."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "I didn't invite you here to say these things."
Li XunHuan said, "I know."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Do you know why I invited you here?"
Li XunHuan said, "Yes."
For the first time, Long Xiao4Yun was surprised. He said, "You really know?"
Li XunHuan said, "I do."
Li XunHuan didn't wait for Long Xiao4Yun to ask again, and continued, "Do you really think there's treasure in Happy Cloud Manor?"
Long Xiao4Yun thought for a long time, before responding, "Yes."
Li XunHuan said, "Where do you think it's at?"
Long Xiao4Yun said, "You should know the place."
Li XunHuan said, "I've always had this odd problem."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "What problem?"
Li XunHuan said, "My problem is, I know all the things I shouldn't know. Yet I don't know anything that I should know."
Long Xiao4Yun's mouth closed.
Li XunHuan said, "Actually, you should've already figured it out. That this whole treasure thing is a charade..."
Long Xiao4Yun cut him off, and said, "I trust you. Because you would not lie to me."
He looked at Li XunHuan intently, and added, "If there's one person I can trust in this world, it's you. If I still have one friend left in this world, it's you! Everything else I've said might be a lie. But this time, I'm definitely speaking the truth."
Li XunHuan also looked at Long Xiao4Yun intently. He sighed deeply, and said, "I believe you, because..."
He stopped talking, because he began to cough.
When he stopped coughing, Long Xiao4Yun continued his sentence, said, "You believe me, because you realize that you are no longer useful to me. So I have no reason to mislead you. Right?"
Li XunHuan answered this question with his silence.
Long Xiao4Yun stood up, and paced around the table.
There's no other sound in the courtyard. His footsteps became heavier and heavier. As if he felt uneasy... Or perhaps he only wants Li XunHuan to think this.
Then, he stopped. He stopped in front of Li XunHuan, and said, "You must think that I'm going to kill you."
Li XunHuan's expression is still of total calm, unbelievable calm. He said calmly, "No matter what you do to me, I won't blame you."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "But I won't kill you."
Li XunHuan, "I know."
Long Xiao4Yun said, "Of course you do. You understand me quite well."
He suddenly became very excited, as he continued, "Because even if I kill you, I still cannot capture her heart. I can only make her hate me more."
Li XunHuan took a deep breath, and said, "There are many things in life that's beyond one's control."
Beyond one's control.
Such a simple phrase. Yet it's one of the most painful things in life.
When you meet it, you can't fight it, can't struggle against it. No matter what you do, what you try, it's still beyond your control.
Long Xiao4Yun tightened his fist, and said, "I can't kill you, but that doesn't mean I'm letting you go."
Li XunHuan nodded.
Because I'm still useful to you alive.
But he didn't say these words.
No matter how Long Xiao4Yun hurt him, betray him, he still would not say a single word that would hurt Long Xiao4Yun.
Long Xiao4Yun tightened his fists even more. Because only in front of Li XunHuan, could he feel so insignificant, so minute.
That's why Li XunHuan's magnificent friendship not only didn't soften his heart, but rather angered him further.
He glared at Li XunHuan, and said, "I'm taking you to see someone. This person had wanted to see you for some time now. Perhaps... you would like to see him too.
* * *
It's a big room.
Despite its size, the room has only one window. A very small window, very high up.
The window is open. Yet you cannot see the scenery outside.
The door is small. If a person has wide shoulders, then he had to walk through the door sideways.
The door is also open.
There's white paint on the wall. The paint is very thick. As if so no one could see if this is a stone wall, a dirt wall, or an iron wall.
There are two beds in the corner.
The bed sheets are very clean, but very simple.
In addition to the beds, there's only a big table in the room.
The table is filled with different account books, files, dossiers.
One person stood in front of the table. Occasionally, he'd make some marks on the account books with his brush. Sometimes, a smile would appear on the corner of his mouth.
He felt that if someone sits down, he'd become relaxed. If a person becomes relaxed, then he would be too prone to error.
He's never relaxed.
He's never made an error.
He had never lost.
There's someone else behind him.
This person stood even straighter, like a spear.
He just stood there. No one knew for how long. He didn't so much as lift a finger.
A mosquito came in somehow. It flew around.
His eyes didn't even blink.
The mosquito landed on his nose, and began to suck blood.
He still didn't move.
It's as if he has no feelings. He feels no pain, no joy.
He might not even know why he's alive.