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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Chapter 82: Unspoken Consolation

Chapter 82: Unspoken Consolation
ดับเบิ้ลคลิกคำศัพท์ เพื่อดูคำแปลเป็นภาษาไทย,
คลิกที่ไอคอนรูปลำโพงเพื่อฟังเสียงอ่าน
[บางคำ อาจจะต้องตัด -d, -ed, -s, -es ออกเสียก่อน
จึงจะปรากฏคำแปลที่ถูกต้อง]

******
"The only thing that we have to fear in life is death. But if you are unafraid of death, then why should you even care whether you're dry or not when you die?" ShangGuan JinHong said.
He looked at Li XunHuan and said, "That's why I think you have ulterior motives for doing this."
"And what could those be?" Li XunHuan said.
******


If you were to pay close attention to a woman who was about to die, you would notice that the last part of her body to stiffen would be her tongue. This is because the most sensitive part of a woman's body was her tongue.

"I should've figured it would be you. The whole reason why he brought me here was so that he could watch you kill me with your own hands. Only then would he be satisfied." Lin XianEr said.

"And will you feel satisfied knowing that you'll die in my hands?" ShangGuan JinHong asked.

"Well that depends on how you plan on killing me. I hope it won't be a quick death, because only by dying slowly can one savor the taste of death." Lin XianEr said.

She suddenly started laughing, "We only get this chance once. Even if I have to endure unbearable pain, it'll all be worth it."

"And if you were to die slowly, you'd be able to say a couple more words. Talking can hep alleviate the pain of death and it can also lessen its frightfulness." ShangGuan JinHong said coldly.

"There's no way you'll kill me off quickly will you? I know you enjoy watching people die a slow and agonizing death. And I've treated you pretty well, haven't I? I entrusted all my hard-earned wealth with you and let you do with it as you pleased. When you ordered people to kill me, you clearly wanted to eliminate me from the picture." Lin XianEr said.

"Right. You're not even worth a single penny now. That's why I don't even want to bother killing you." ShangGuan JinHong said.

He suddenly kicked her towards Li XunHuan.

This time she couldn't say a word. Her drenched clothes grasped tightly onto her skin.

Her curvaceous figure was ravishing beyond words.

After all, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Not only was she attractive, but extremely smart as well.

She could've been very well off.

But now, she couldn't even die a proper death.

She was supposed to be an angel living amongst the clouds, but now she was like a wild dog stuck in mud.

How did it come to this?

Was it because she didn't know how to appreciate all that she had?

It started to pour even harder.

Li XunHuan stared at Lin XianEr crawling around in the mud, he suddenly felt sadness and empathy.

Not for her, but for Ah Fei.

She had brought it all upon herself, but what about Ah Fei?

Ah Fei hadn't done anything wrong.

Although he chose the wrong person to love, he was not wrong for being in love.

ShangGuan JinHong looked over at Li XunHuan and said, "I didn't kill her because I figured you'd have more reason to kill her than I do, so she's yours."

Li XunHuan was silent for a long while. He finally let out a long sigh and said, "It looks like you've underestimated me again."

After a long pause, ShangGuan JinHong nodded his head slowly and said, "You're right, I have underestimated you. You won't kill her either."

He slowly continued, "The act of killing requires a murderous intent, and you need very ounce of it focused on me. Why would you waste any of it on a person like her?"

"To kill, one must kill the right person. To kill, one must kill in the right place." Li XunHuan said.

"Is something wrong with this place?" ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Originally, no. But now, yes." Li XunHuan said.

"What is wrong with it?" ShangGuan JinHong said.

"It's getting too crowded here." Li XunHuan said.

"Is he making you feel uncomfortable?" ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Yes." Li XunHuan said.

He didn't want to hide it. Even if Jing WuMing didn't attack, he was still a threat to him.

Because his sword could come out at anytime. There was no one in this world who could withstand a combined attack from the two of them.

ShangGuan JinHong sunk his head and said, "I understand what you mean, but now that he has returned, no one can convince him to leave, isn't that right?"

That last part was directed at Jing WuMing.

"Yes." Jing WuMing said.

Even though he stood far away from him, anyone would notice that Jing WuMing and ShangGuan JinHong were like one being, one indestructible force that couldn't be stopped.

Li XunHuan let out a sigh, he suddenly thought of Ah Fei. If only Ah Fei were here ...

ShangGuan JinHong read his mind perfectly and said, "If Ah Fei were present then you would have a chance, its unfortunate though ... that he is such a disappointment."

"I was never disappointed in him. No matter how many times some people fall, they will always get back up." Li XunHuan said.

"You believe that he is such a person?" ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Of course he is." Li XunHuan said.

"Well even if you're right, by the time that he stands back up, you'll have already hit the ground. And I can guarantee that when you fall this time, you won't ever be able to get back up." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Now ..." Li XunHuan said.

"Now you don't even have the slightest chance." ShangGuan JinHong said.

Li XunHuan suddenly laughed and said, "You should at least let me pick the place then. If a person is about to die, they should at least have the right to choose where they are going to die."

"You're wrong, the person who kills has that power, the person who is to be killed has no such right. But ..." ShangGuan JinHong said.

He stared at Li XunHuan and said, "I'll make an exception in your case. Not only are you a good friend, but a worthy adversary as well."

"Thank you." Li XunHuan said.

"So where do you wish to die?" Li XunHuan said.

"If a person has suffered his whole life, he will want to die a comfortable death." Li XunHuan said.

"Dying can never be comfortable." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"I just want to find a place where it isn't raining, and change into a fresh set of clothes. I don't want to die soaked and drenched in this nasty wet place." he smiled and continued, "Honestly speaking, except when I'm taking a bath, I always prefer that my body to be dry."

"I've always heard that you're unafraid of death but I could never get myself to believe it, because I don't believe that there's anyone in this world who is not afraid of dying. But now ... I can somehow see how it could be true." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Oh?" Li XunHuan said.

"When a person still has the mood to say such words when they know they're about to die, it shows that the person really doesn't value life and death. That's why I find it quite strange." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"Strange?" Li XunHuan said.

"The only thing that we have to fear in life is death. But if you are unafraid of death, then why should you even care whether you're dry or not when you die?" ShangGuan JinHong said.

He looked at Li XunHuan and said, "That's why I think you have ulterior motives for doing this."

"And what could those be?" Li XunHuan said.

"Some people would think that you're merely stalling for time. Because even when faced with imminent death, some people will do everything they can to postpone it just a longer. Perhaps they think some sort of hope or chance will appear, or at the very least they get to live just a few moments longer." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"And you think that's my reason?" Li XunHuan said.

"Of course not, I've never really underestimated you before." ShangGuan JinHong said, "You know that there won't be any sudden miracles, no one in this world can save you now. And also, I know that you're unafraid of death."

"Well then, what do you think I'm trying to do?" Li XunHuan said.

"I think you're just searching for an opportunity to let the two of them escape, because you know that I won't kill anyone here before killing you. A person won't waste his appetite on bread if he knows that a grand feast is waiting for him." ShangGuan JinHong said.

"That's a pretty bad analogy." Li XunHuan said with a smile.

"Perhaps, but its not that far off." ShangGuan JinHong said.

Li XunHuan's smile looked very forced, "But do you really care whether the two of them live or die?"

"I don't have to." ShangGuan JinHong said.

It really was of no concern to him.

If they lived, they were of no threat to him.

If he wanted them to die, he could kill them anytime he wanted to.

Li XunHuan couldn't even bear to look at Sun XiaoHong.

But whatever the case, she was still alive now, and she was still breathing.

That was enough for him.

What else could he possibly do for her?

"But I've already said that I'd make an exception for you, because you're different from anyone else." ShangGuan JinHong said, "Since you've lived so cleanly, the least I can do is to make sure that you don't die in filth, like some wild dog in the mud."

Death. How would he die? Where would he die?

None of this was important.

The only thing that mattered was that he could die peacefully.

But what about Sun XiaoHong?

He couldn't bear to look at her this whole time. He didn't dare to either.

Because he couldn't afford to break his concentration.

But he had to leave now, she must have known that this would probably be the last time she would ever see him again. He wasn't just going to some foreign place, he was leaving this world.

How would she be able to follow him this time?

He was afraid that she would want to accompany him, that she would want to die together.

If she were to do this, he'd be force to knock her unconscious, or seal her accupoints and then slowly try to convince her to live on without him.

It would definitely be a very sad and depressing scene.

Li XunHuan really hoped that it wouldn't come down to that. She had enough of a burden to carry in her heart already, another such load and her emotions would probably fall to pieces.

Although she was a very strong willed person, her emotions were rather frgaile.

Sun XiaoHong didn't do as he had thought, she didn't even walk over to say goodbye.

What was the reason?

Li XunHuan finally couldn't resist and turned around to look at her.

She hadn't fainted, nor had she moved from where she was standing.

But she was staring right at Li XunHuan.

Although the expression on her face was full of pain, the look in her eyes was still warm and resolute. Although she didn't say a word, her eyes were telling Li XunHuan, "Since this is something that you must do, then please just keep focused on doing it. Don't let me distract you, I understand and I won't try to stop you. Because I have complete faith in you."

Although he only glanced at her for a moment, Li XunHuan suddenly felt a huge burden being alleviated.

Because he realized that she was an incredibly strong woman, that she would not make him worry about her. That even without him having to tell her, that she would try her best to live on.

She wanted only to be a comfort and an encouragement.

Li XunHuan couldn't express in words just how grateful he was, because only he understood just how much it meant that she was this understanding and supporting of him.

He suddenly realized that he was extremely lucky to have met her.

Li XunHuan finally started to leave. His steps were much more firm and resolute than when he came.

Sun XiaoHong watched quietly as he walked away. After a long while, she finally turned to look at Lin XianEr.

Lin XianEr was struggling to stand up from the muddy ground.

She tried her best to look proud and elegant, but she knew that whatever she did was useless. Because even she felt quite distressed and miserable.

Sun XiaoHong looked at her without a trace of emotion on her face.

Showing no emotion was a way of showing disdainful emotions.

Lin XianEr laughed coldly and said, "I know that you're looking down on me right now, but I think that you're much worse than I am, do you know why?"

"No, I don't." Sun XiaoHong said.

"He killed your grandfather, and he's about to kill Li XunHuan, yet all you can do is stand there like a piece of wood." Lin XianEr said.

"And what should I be doing?" Sun XiaoHong said.

"You should ask yourself that ... don't tell me you don't even know what you're feeling in your own heart?" Lin XianEr said.

"I know." Sun XiaoHong said.

"Then you should be grieving, regretting, and in pain." Lin XianEr siad.

"How do you know that I'm not in pain? When a person is grieving or in pain, that person doesn't have to show it with words but with actions." Sun XiaoHong said.

"And just what exactly have you shown? Just what exactly have you done?" Lin XianEr said.

"What can I do now?" Sun XiaoHong said.

"Since you know that Li XunHuan is walking to his death right now, you should at least try to stop him ..." Lin XianEr said.

"You think that I can stop him?" Sun XiaoHong sighed and said, "If I were to do that, then his mind would just be in even more disarray, and he'd die even faster."

"But you ... you haven't even shed a single tear." Lin XianEr said.

Sun XiaoHong was quite for quite some time, before saying, "I really do want to start crying right now, start flooding my eyes with tears, but now is not the time."

"What are you waiting for?" Lin XianEr said.

"Tomorrow ..." Sun XiaoHong said.

"But when tomorrow comes, there will be another tomorrow." Lin XianEr said.

"Because there will always be another tomorrow, there will always be hope." Sun XiaoHong said.

She slowly continued, "Although I've made a mistake, it's part of the past now and I'll just have to live with it. Even if I wanted to burst out in tears, it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Because there is something else that I must do today!"

Only fools cry about the past.

The courageous acknowledge their mistakes so that they will have the strength to deal with the present, instead of burying themselves in tears.

Tears cannot wipe away humiliation, nor can they correct the errors of the past. If you really want to right the wrongs that you've done, the only thing that you can do is dig up the courage to start all over again from today.

Lin XianEr froze still.

The whole reason why she said those things was to upset Sun XiaoHong. Because since Sun XiaoHong was looking down on her, she wanted Sun XiaoHong to look down on herself as well.

But she had failed.

Sun XiaoHong was much stronger and much more courageous than she could have ever expected.

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